Beautiful Sky
by Megamind-loves-Roxanne
Summary: Meryl's thoughts on Vash after he goes off to fight his brother. Has more than that so don't think it's a dumb story. I'm really proud of it. Vash/Meryl. Please review!!!


Hello all! This is my first Trigun fanfic. Yay! I have no idea why when I write a fanfic for a new series that I've never written before, I write a one-shot. Some sort of habit.

Well, I hope you all enjoy my first Trigun fanfic. I tried with this one and I think it came out rather well. Please tell me what you think by dropping a review. Thanks so much! ^_^ Enjoy the fic!

**_~*~Beautiful Sky~*~_**

_"Beautiful sky, the color of your eyes_

_Showing a stream of emotion, revealing devotion_

_Hiding feelings of sadness, showing only forced happiness..."_

I stopped moving my hand, the one with the pencil, blinking down at the words I had written. Sighing in frustration I crunched the ball into a little ball and tossed it behind me.

I was doing it again. For a while now I had absentmindedly been writing poems about you, sounding like a love sick teenager who wanted to express her feelings to the object of her affection.

I huffed and rested my head on the palm of my hand, closing my eyes as if trying to hide the emotion there. The sun was shining through the window, streaming onto the desk before reaching me and warming me with its light. Of all my favorite places to sit and write, er, type, it was in front of a window. I didn't care how it looked outside whether it be raining, hot, cold, night, day...I just loved sitting there.

I opened my eyes then, my mind being to drift off. I had been doing that a lot recently, allowing so many thoughts to enter my mind. I was never one to think things through for a long time. I would mostly think for a second, then act.

But you...you changed that. You caused me to take that extra time to stop and just notice the detail, the beauty, the love that was all around. You caused me to stop and think, not only about what I was going to do, but of so many things.

One thing I thought about a lot was whether or not you were coming back. It had been days since I saw you last and you still aren't back. Will you come back? Do you even remember that you have someone here waiting for you?

Sighing, I dropped my hand and let them drift to my lap, dropping my head as well and staring at them there. I'm so worried about you. Are you okay? Did you make it?

Before, when we barely knew each other, I don't think I would have cared as much. Sure, I would feel sad for a while (I'm not that heartless), but then I think I could just carry on with life.

But it's different now. If I lost you, I don't know what I would do, where I would go. I wouldn't want to go back to my job. It would hold no meaning to me. There's nothing left for me there. I have almost everything I need right here: Milly, the townspeople, memories...you're the only one missing from that picture.

 I felt a wetness against my cheek and gingerly reached up to touch it. I gasped and brought it before my misty eyes. I was crying, crying for you. I was allowing myself to care, allowing the shields I had built around me crack and break, letting them tumble like a delicate wall made of paper.

I gripped my hands into fists and again brought them to my lap. I was shaking, trembling with emotion, the wetness from my eyes building before they built up enough to fall, trailing down my face. You fool! Look what you've turned me into! You've caused me to care...to care about you like I've never cared for anyone except maybe Milly.

I felt like lashing out, like tossing something into the wall and just yelling out, cursing your name for making me feel this way. You had fast become an important person in my life, as important as Milly was. There was no way you would not come back. You have to!

With my arm, I angrily wiped my eyes, not wanting anymore emotion to show; tears to fall. Maybe you don't care. Maybe to you I'm just "that insurance girl". I'm not as pretty as a lot of the girls I've seen you flirt with, so why should you care about me? I'm not as charming, not as sweet. Why would you ever look my way?

The dam I had been trying to hold back broke then, allowing me to show my emotions, my vulnerability. All the pent up jealousy, anger, worry, care...and love...streamed out, whooshing around my body and wrapping all around me like a cold, wet blanket. I shivered, wrapping my arms around me, trying to comfort myself as I let it all out, pitiful little snivels that I didn't want anyone to hear. I hate you!

I hate you!

I hate you.

I hate you...

I love you...

Why did I never let it show? Why did I never hint, never comfort you when you really needed it? Why couldn't I have been good at that?

I allowed myself to cry as long as I could. I heard crying was good for you, a way to let all the negative emotions out before they choked you. It was good medicine for a pained heart.

Perhaps sleep is also good medicine after you've cried yourself to exhaustion...

"Meryl?"

I froze immediately, trying to regain my composure. There was no way I was going to allow Milly to see me like that. I would just have to avoid facing her.

"What is it Milly?" I asked with as much calmness I could, although I heard my voice break once as I tried to hold back a sob.

I heard her footsteps get closer, soft little patters against the floor. Her hand came next, soft and warm and comforting, like the kind a mother has when she knows you've been crying but won't say it with words, but rather with touch. "I just wanted to tell you that Mr. Vash is back..."

I gasped, not even allowing myself to think as I stood up as fast as Vash's bullets, knocking over my chair in the process. Milly jumped back a little in shock, but I ignored her and ran past her, out the door, down the hall, down a set of stairs, through a room, out the front door, and finally out into the open, never stopping once to breathe. I couldn't breathe. It was caught in my throat, the whole world froze for me then and I felt as if I were the only one moving, the only one who time was affecting.

I looked around, my eyes frantic, and sure enough...you were there. People were around you, everyone smiling. They were a bit glad you were back, but they still seemed a little nervous since you were till Vash the Stampede.

It didn't take too long before your soft, emotion filled eyes found mine. I was in such a shock that I had forgotten I still had traces of my crying on my face. I realized I did when your smile faded and worry replaced all traces of happiness. My eyes bulged, disbelieving as I was finally aware that my eyes were probably swollen and red, as well as my nose.

You walked towards me then, your paces slow and leisurely. You were taking your time to get towards me, and later, when I thought about it, I wondered why I didn't run away when I had the chance. It was as if my feet were stuck to the ground.

When you reached me, you stopped only about a pace away. You smiled softly but I could still see the worry in your eyes. I knew your smile was one for comfort, almost also like an apology, as if you understood the pain I had felt while you were gone. And yet still I could not move, not even command my feet to step back.

Slowly, as if unsurely, you reached your arm out, your fingers outstretched softly towards me. Rather than feel your warm skin against my cheek, I felt the cold leather of your gloves. My eyes became misty again, tears threatening to fall. I didn't allow them to. I didn't want to appear weak in front of you.

You opened your mouth and poured out these words:

"I'm sorry Meryl."

Just that, as if those three words would make up for all the worry I felt. I felt angry, maybe even a little betrayed. What was I expecting after all? A confession of love? What a stupid girl I was.

I lowered my head, my lips quivering. I didn't want you to see me at the moment. I opened my mouth to offer words back, to say something, but words, like the movement in my legs, were lost to me.

You used a finger to tilt my chin up and make me look at you. I didn't want to, but I allowed myself to look. I felt ashamed and embarrassed that you saw what your leave had done to me. I knew it wasn't going to be a long separation, but a lot could have happened in that time. Dying while fighting your brother for instance.

"How...how did it go?" I finally managed to squeak out. I was trying to compose myself, trying to make myself the same Meryl I always was.

Your hand never wavered from my chin. It kept it there, refusing to let go for fear that I would look away. I knew that, but I didn't know why you would want to keep it there. "I won," you said with a happy smile, not at all like the one you gave me before. "My brother won't hurt anymore people."

Although I knew it was true because you were back, I still wanted to hear if coming from you. "Where is he now?"

You shrugged your shoulders, looking indifferent. "I took him back to where we were born. He'll get better and then I'll be going to help him change."

I ripped my chin away from your grasp in such a hurry that you didn't have time to hold it there. I looked downward. "So you're...you're leaving again?"

"Only for a while." This time you cupped my cheek in order to force me to look at you. "And this time you and Milly can come if you want. There's no danger and maybe my brother would like to meet you guys."

Despite feeling such negative feelings only a while ago, I smiled from happiness at the request, an honest smile that came from my heart. Well, it wasn't a date, but it was something. You had never asked me to join you before. Usually we just followed and you asked why. "Although it's a little crazy for us to be seeing the one who hurt many people, we'd still love to go."

"Yay!" a loud, familiar voice broke through us. "We're going to see Vash's brother!"

Milly was behind us, looking so excited that I had to laugh. "Well Milly, if we're going to go, let's go pack."

She nodded in agreement and rushed back inside.

I was going to follow her, but at that moment you grabbed my hand, not roughly, but enough to make me stop and look at you. I was only confused this time, wondering what you wanted to tell me.

The amazing thing is, all you did was smile and squeeze my hand reassuringly. There was a twinkle in your eye and almost immediately I knew what it meant. It made my heart swell with love...for you.

Then I did something that even amazed ME. Running over, I hugged you, a warm hug that felt right somehow. I was going to pull away rather quickly, but you wrapped your long arms around me and bent towards my ear. "I feel you in my heart just as I know you feel me in yours."

My eyes widened, my face grew hot. I couldn't believe you had said that!

You leg go and ushered me towards the door. It was then I knew something that I had wished ever since I knew of my feelings...

...You would always be there, my beautiful sky, never filled with gray clouds. Our future looked at bright as the heavens...

Perhaps I would add that in my next poem about you.

_~*~Fin~*~_


End file.
